








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 36 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
419 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,095 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 307 | 28% |
| Smokes | 372 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 146 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 270 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $223,533 of utility $232 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 63 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Low IQ | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | Robitte ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ | 50% | 12 |
| #3 | Leo | 45% | 42 |
| #4 | navtrack | 44% | 41 |
| #5 | gay s1mple | 43% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | navtrack | 4 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | Leo | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | gay s1mple | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Low IQ | +3.45 | 61 | 75 |
| #2 | Potatoman | +0.91 | 72 | 53 |
| #3 | Leo | +0.75 | 82 | 63 |
| #4 | Robitte ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ | +0.71 | 69 | 46 |
| #5 | gay s1mple | -0.44 | 76 | 47 |





