








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 134 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 61 matches | ||
| Wingman | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




51 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3092 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,826 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1392 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2363 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2344 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1727 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,488,600 of utility $191 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 334 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ziven | 7 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | NAGU | 7 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | Draf | 4 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | CqFD_ | 4 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | Low IQ | 4 | 0.0067 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Draf | 211 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #2 | Ziven | 203 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #3 | NAGU | 182 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #4 | CqFD_ | 174 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #5 | Alex -Sortifal- | 128 | 0.23 | 3 min |





