








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 218 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 268 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




63 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3030 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,182 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3357 | 22% |
| Smokes | 4077 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4018 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3730 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $446,221 of utility $52 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 142 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Conquest | 49 | 0.0170 |
| #2 | Flix | 26 | 0.0312 |
| #3 | GNGY | 24 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | Investment Banker | 10 | 0.0110 |
| #5 | PRWD | 9 | 0.0074 |





