








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1111 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 535 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 102 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5850 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,905 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5433 | 23% |
| Smokes | 6574 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 6073 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 5825 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,572,248 of utility $186 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 958 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nKS <3 Cheese | 75% | 40 |
| #2 | ✪ steel | 63% | 191 |
| #3 | KneeGrow | 63% | 99 |
| #4 | nKS <3 VAC Ban | 60% | 63 |
| #5 | nKS <3 ∆♣JOKER♥∆ | 60% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nix0И^ | 22 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | ✪ steel | 18 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | Top1Dog | 9 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | KneeGrow | 6 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | mAd | 5 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nix0И^ | 1155 | 0.16 | 32 min |
| #2 | Top1Dog | 353 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #3 | KneeGrow | 334 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #4 | ✪ steel | 266 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #5 | mAd | 231 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nKS <3 VAC Ban | +2.71 | 79 | 60 |
| #2 | Nix0И^ | +2.48 | 69 | 80 |
| #3 | nKS | +2.42 | 82 | 51 |
| #4 | nKS <3 Cheese | +2.15 | 85 | 60 |
| #5 | nKS <3 ∆♣JOKER♥∆ | +2.03 | 87 | 60 |





