








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 897 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 969 matches | ||
| Wingman | 26 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7763 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,149 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4376 | 17% |
| Smokes | 9622 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 6375 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5776 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,834,056 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1194 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Velociraptor #JaiShreeRam | 48% | 66 |
| #8 | ♚JOKER♚ | 48% | 97 |
| #9 | krauser | 46% | 109 |
| #10 | ☢︎ sᴜʙᴊᴇᴇ ☢ | 41% | 85 |
| #11 | pablo yadav | 39% | 145 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ApEx | 19 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | RuSh | 10 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | pablo yadav | 10 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | YoPappy | 8 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Mr.Goodrich | 3 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ApEx | 1370 | 0.22 | 29 min |
| #2 | RuSh | 1130 | 0.20 | 26 min |
| #3 | YoPappy | 776 | 0.23 | 20 min |
| #4 | ☢︎ sᴜʙᴊᴇᴇ ☢ | 273 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #5 | krauser | 168 | 0.08 | 4 min |





