








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 452 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 364 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 70 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2091 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,598 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 339 | 7% |
| Smokes | 2556 | 56% |
| HE Grenades | 738 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 965 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,228,672 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 339 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kel | 62% | 26 |
| #2 | Vitamin Dee | 62% | 26 |
| #3 | Zoidburg | 55% | 71 |
| #4 | BzzzKill | 50% | 26 |
| #5 | Turbanator® | 47% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Turbanator® | 47% | 47 |
| #6 | >>>Soldier Boy<<< [The boys] | 44% | 78 |
| #7 | Neilla | 43% | 98 |
| #8 | Vikz | 41% | 74 |
| #9 | Elias!! | 40% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BzzzKill | 4 | 0.0078 |
| #2 | Neilla | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Vikz | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Zoidburg | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Elias!! | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Neilla | 349 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #2 | Vikz | 346 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| #3 | Zoidburg | 231 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #4 | Elias!! | 80 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Turbanator® | 51 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BzzzKill | +3.94 | 78 | 44 |
| #2 | >>>Soldier Boy<<< [The boys] | +2.16 | 67 | 18 |
| #3 | Zoidburg | +2.01 | 38 | 71 |
| #4 | Kel | +1.73 | 31 | 32 |
| #5 | Vitamin Dee | +1.69 | 20 | 39 |





