








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 755 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 652 matches | ||
| Faceit | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




69 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9183 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,875 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5476 | 46% |
| Smokes | 2766 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1190 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 2443 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,944,685 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1142 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr. Diddy | 61% | 69 |
| #2 | freaky gay Games | 60% | 75 |
| #3 | LACHS | 59% | 51 |
| #4 | miner591 | 58% | 93 |
| #5 | β
Fistinβ piston | 57% | 105 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | marswaterman1 | +2.00 | 77 | 39 |
| #2 | Dr. Diddy | +1.99 | 79 | 27 |
| #3 | bro | +1.98 | 77 | 53 |
| #4 | LACHS | +1.02 | 87 | 48 |
| #5 | β
πΎππππππ | +0.69 | 80 | 61 |





