








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 289 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1392 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,867 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1574 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1589 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 774 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 1930 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $816,167 of utility $205 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 129 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | !! Nuisance !! | 53% | 17 |
| #2 | ironslayer | 45% | 80 |
| #3 | intel atom | 41% | 100 |
| #4 | PrankMaster5 | 39% | 23 |
| #5 | xFIGHTERx | 25% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | !! Nuisance !! | 53% | 17 |
| #2 | ironslayer | 45% | 80 |
| #3 | intel atom | 41% | 100 |
| #4 | PrankMaster5 | 39% | 23 |
| #5 | xFIGHTERx | 25% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ironslayer | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | intel atom | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | PrankMaster5 | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | !! Nuisance !! | 1 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | intel atom | 209 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #2 | ironslayer | 207 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | PrankMaster5 | 102 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #4 | xFIGHTERx | 80 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #5 | !! Nuisance !! | 67 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | !! Nuisance !! | +3.29 | 80 | 67 |
| #2 | xFIGHTERx | +1.58 | 77 | 57 |
| #3 | ironslayer | +0.76 | 51 | 57 |
| #4 | intel atom | -0.06 | 49 | 56 |
| #5 | PrankMaster5 | -1.08 | 12 | 75 |





