








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 59 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
334 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 927 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 500 | 54% |
| Smokes | 201 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 108 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 118 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $38,237 of utility $24 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Turtle | 57% | 7 |
| #2 | zir0nic | 48% | 21 |
| #3 | JONALD | 46% | 35 |
| #4 | gangstathug | 41% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Turtle | 57% | 7 |
| #2 | zir0nic | 48% | 21 |
| #3 | JONALD | 46% | 35 |
| #4 | gangstathug | 41% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zir0nic | 5 | 0.0127 |
| #2 | Turtle | 2 | 0.0152 |
| #3 | gangstathug | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | JONALD | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JONALD | 30 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #2 | gangstathug | 26 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #3 | zir0nic | 10 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #4 | Turtle | 9 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JONALD | +6.39 | 49 | 41 |
| #2 | Turtle | +5.59 | 83 | 39 |
| #3 | zir0nic | +4.10 | 49 | 23 |
| #4 | gangstathug | -3.60 | 29 | 26 |
| #5 | nophhii | -4.89 | 36 | 30 |





