








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 403 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 238 matches | ||
| Premier | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 60 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2851 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,371 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3967 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1141 | 10% |
| HE Grenades | 4459 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 1804 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $804,471 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 110 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grzegorz Brzęczeszczykiewicz | 77% | 30 |
| #2 | Srakataur | 66% | 29 |
| #3 | Ohio Sigma Rizzler | 62% | 68 |
| #4 | Everything. | 60% | 113 |
| #5 | L0UG0 | 59% | 174 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Everything. | 30 | 0.0122 |
| #2 | L0UG0 | 24 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | GYATT GOBBLER | 6 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Wiff_master | 5 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | Ohio Sigma Rizzler | 4 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Everything. | 377 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #2 | L0UG0 | 338 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #3 | GYATT GOBBLER | 187 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | polokpolok | 181 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | Wiff_master | 161 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Everything. | +3.75 | 78 | 68 |
| #2 | Grzegorz Brzęczeszczykiewicz | +1.49 | 73 | 71 |
| #3 | Ohio Sigma Rizzler | +1.23 | 71 | 39 |
| #4 | Wiff_master | +0.37 | 68 | 57 |
| #5 | Mazo71 | +0.16 | 60 | 67 |





