










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 80 matches | ||
| Premier | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1092 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,624 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 947 | 26% |
| Smokes | 892 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 767 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1018 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $856,341 of utility $262 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 83 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grzegorz Brzęczeszczykiewicz | 87% | 15 |
| #2 | Everything. | 66% | 38 |
| #3 | Wiff_master | 59% | 39 |
| #4 | Ohio Sigma Rizzler | 58% | 26 |
| #5 | asmr player | 55% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Everything. | 15 | 0.0185 |
| #2 | L0UG0 | 9 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | Mazo71 | 8 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | GYATT GOBBLER | 4 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | Wiff_master | 3 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mazo71 | 229 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | Everything. | 161 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #3 | L0UG0 | 160 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | GYATT GOBBLER | 114 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | Wiff_master | 91 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Everything. | +4.88 | 80 | 69 |
| #2 | Grzegorz Brzęczeszczykiewicz | +2.93 | 63 | 76 |
| #3 | Wiff_master | +2.26 | 68 | 63 |
| #4 | Ohio Sigma Rizzler | +1.11 | 69 | 46 |
| #5 | Mazo71 | +0.70 | 62 | 67 |





