








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 368 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 152 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




60 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3624 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,475 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2251 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3249 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 1302 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1673 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,468,423 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 215 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Grodan Boll | 57% | 197 |
| #4 | Sc0ped | 53% | 97 |
| #5 | Turbonissen | 48% | 33 |
| #6 | 我得了脑癌 | 48% | 56 |
| #7 | Big Booms | 47% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grodan Boll | +3.40 | 56 | 37 |
| #2 | Sushi Yama | +1.81 | 54 | 43 |
| #3 | Sc0ped | +1.01 | 74 | 40 |
| #4 | 我得了脑癌 | +0.87 | 61 | 27 |
| #5 | tomten | -2.40 | 29 | 15 |





