








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 19 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 72 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
810 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,833 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1226 | 32% |
| Smokes | 816 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 852 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 939 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $192,307 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Real Vesa Keskinen | 61% | 18 |
| #2 | Ara | 55% | 40 |
| #3 | Keijo_Konnumies | 47% | 34 |
| #4 | Magezi | 45% | 29 |
| #5 | u dad ♿ | 43% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Teme | 42% | 86 |
| #7 | kalamies | 41% | 76 |
| #8 | Bogib0b 유 | 39% | 18 |
| #9 | ips | 33% | 9 |
| #10 | hoe dog | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kalamies | 8 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | Teme | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | u dad ♿ | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Magezi | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | Bogib0b 유 | 2 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Teme | 247 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | kalamies | 178 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | Ara | 144 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #4 | u dad ♿ | 143 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #5 | Keijo_Konnumies | 70 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hoe dog | +2.51 | 77 | 52 |
| #2 | SaneGd | +0.29 | 52 | 64 |
| #3 | Teme | +0.17 | 65 | 71 |
| #4 | u dad ♿ | -0.50 | 70 | 59 |
| #5 | Bogib0b 유 | -0.60 | 65 | 74 |





