








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 86 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 397 matches | ||
| Wingman | 47 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4433 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,394 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1012 | 16% |
| Smokes | 2510 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 1566 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1306 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,417,235 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2071 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rwd | 26 | 0.0096 |
| #2 | cheemburger | 20 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | P1NH3aD | 8 | 0.0108 |
| #4 | KOBSRA | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | TripleR | 6 | 0.0058 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cheemburger | 473 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #2 | rwd | 298 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #3 | dave | 155 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | KOBSRA | 119 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | TripleR | 100 | 0.10 | 2 min |





