








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 45 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 85 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
806 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,372 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 477 | 20% |
| Smokes | 390 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 876 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 629 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $442,371 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 142 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | cheemburger | 48% | 86 |
| #6 | 2K304 | 45% | 33 |
| #7 | rwd | 45% | 60 |
| #8 | eunoia | 45% | 85 |
| #9 | jjegg | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rwd | 14 | 0.0108 |
| #2 | cheemburger | 13 | 0.0071 |
| #3 | P1NH3aD | 5 | 0.0128 |
| #4 | TripleR | 3 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | eunoia | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cheemburger | 293 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #2 | rwd | 144 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | eunoia | 71 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | TripleR | 51 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | KOBSRA | 23 | 0.05 | 1 min |





