








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1088 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 133 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 73 matches | ||
| Wingman | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5335 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,244 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4677 | 38% |
| Smokes | 2547 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2875 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2145 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,892,914 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 452 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Professor Milk Dick, Ph.D | 58% | 36 |
| #2 | tmoe | 54% | 26 |
| #3 | Michaelsoft Binbows | 53% | 30 |
| #4 | Flanderzz | 50% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Professor Milk Dick, Ph.D | 58% | 36 |
| #2 | tmoe | 54% | 26 |
| #3 | Michaelsoft Binbows | 53% | 30 |
| #4 | Flanderzz | 50% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Professor Milk Dick, Ph.D | 11 | 0.0159 |
| #2 | Michaelsoft Binbows | 4 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | Flanderzz | 2 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tmoe | 124 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #2 | Flanderzz | 80 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | Professor Milk Dick, Ph.D | 62 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | Michaelsoft Binbows | 28 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VeeCS | +2.42 | 67 | 58 |
| #2 | Professor Milk Dick, Ph.D | +0.69 | 60 | 56 |
| #3 | tmoe | -1.00 | 41 | 73 |
| #4 | Flanderzz | -1.02 | 61 | 48 |
| #5 | Michaelsoft Binbows | -2.59 | 33 | 33 |





