








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 334 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
686 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,807 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 438 | 24% |
| Smokes | 557 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 489 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 323 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $367,713 of utility $213 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 73 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shimo | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | kura | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | acua | 50% | 16 |
| #4 | puck | 33% | 6 |
| #5 | !!!!!!!!!!!! | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shimo | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | kura | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | acua | 50% | 16 |
| #4 | puck | 33% | 6 |
| #5 | !!!!!!!!!!!! | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | acua | 3 | 0.0092 |
| #2 | !!!!!!!!!!!! | 3 | 0.0183 |
| #3 | shimo | 1 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | kura | 1 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | !!!!!!!!!!!! | 40 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #2 | kura | 29 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #3 | shimo | 22 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | puck | 19 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| #5 | acua | 12 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | acua | +2.24 | 90 | 26 |
| #2 | kura | +2.04 | 59 | 64 |
| #3 | poopycat | +1.40 | 63 | 42 |
| #4 | !!!!!!!!!!!! | +0.69 | 90 | 35 |
| #5 | puck | -3.53 | 56 | 44 |





