








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 40 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1723 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,049 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 679 | 22% |
| Smokes | 458 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 963 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 949 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $594,139 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 55 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ninjatoad | 59% | 17 |
| #2 | unarmedmrkly | 51% | 43 |
| #3 | MMMMMUFFFFFIN | 50% | 36 |
| #4 | ting | 44% | 36 |
| #5 | Wrir | 43% | 131 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | ZooGs | 42% | 106 |
| #7 | OgShu | 41% | 73 |
| #8 | Shaggy | 40% | 20 |
| #9 | MannibalLecter | 36% | 124 |
| #10 | Matt EX-CoMuNiCaDo | 35% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZooGs | 14 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | Shaggy | 10 | 0.0293 |
| #3 | unarmedmrkly | 6 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | MannibalLecter | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | OgShu | 4 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wrir | 377 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #2 | ZooGs | 337 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #3 | OgShu | 234 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #4 | MannibalLecter | 223 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | ting | 122 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ting | +5.36 | 70 | 58 |
| #2 | ninjatoad | +3.15 | 60 | 62 |
| #3 | MMMMMUFFFFFIN | +2.75 | 35 | 58 |
| #4 | unarmedmrkly | +2.49 | 48 | 51 |
| #5 | Shaggy | +1.76 | 66 | 53 |





