








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 104 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 141 matches | ||
| Premier | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1451 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,653 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1884 | 33% |
| Smokes | 694 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 1971 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1104 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $307,442 of utility $64 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 113 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jasmin | 59% | 17 |
| #2 | Bonk | 57% | 35 |
| #3 | Lare | 54% | 276 |
| #4 | Makka Pakka | 53% | 62 |
| #5 | | 48% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jasmin | 59% | 17 |
| #2 | Bonk | 57% | 35 |
| #3 | Lare | 54% | 276 |
| #4 | Makka Pakka | 53% | 62 |
| #5 | | 48% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lare | 51 | 0.0109 |
| #2 | | 9 | 0.0181 |
| #3 | Bonk | 8 | 0.0106 |
| #4 | Makka Pakka | 6 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | Jasmin | 3 | 0.0088 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lare | 331 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #2 | | 187 | 0.38 | 4 min |
| #3 | Bonk | 154 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #4 | Makka Pakka | 131 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | Jasmin | 30 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bonk | +2.58 | 80 | 68 |
| #2 | Lare | +1.33 | 59 | 56 |
| #3 | | +0.12 | 18 | 58 |
| #4 | vokerooni | -0.23 | 47 | 56 |
| #5 | Makka Pakka | -1.13 | 39 | 59 |





