








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 422 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 270 matches | ||
| Wingman | 194 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




154 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4932 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,884 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4358 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1660 | 10% |
| HE Grenades | 5519 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 4347 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,653,050 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 916 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | | 40 | 0.0182 |
| #2 | vokerooni | 39 | 0.0083 |
| #3 | Makka Pakka | 37 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | Bonk | 30 | 0.0062 |
| #5 | Jasmin | 16 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | | 920 | 0.42 | 19 min |
| #2 | Bonk | 812 | 0.17 | 20 min |
| #3 | Makka Pakka | 760 | 0.09 | 15 min |
| #4 | vokerooni | 440 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #5 | Jasmin | 402 | 0.14 | 8 min |





