








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 40 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
606 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,144 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 443 | 39% |
| Smokes | 282 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 302 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 117 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $114,656 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 47 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VaginerMiner | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | scumbagalex | 45% | 11 |
| #3 | Pickles | 42% | 31 |
| #4 | PerKLive | 36% | 11 |
| #5 | Astrowes | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Donny Bug | 58 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #2 | Pickles | 45 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | scumbagalex | 32 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | VaginerMiner | 28 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | Sladertot | 26 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VaginerMiner | +1.70 | 79 | 49 |
| #2 | PerKLive | +1.03 | 74 | 51 |
| #3 | Pickles | -0.22 | 64 | 57 |
| #4 | Dayton off that galaxy gas | -0.37 | 74 | 40 |
| #5 | scumbagalex | -0.46 | 49 | 43 |





