








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 27 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 253 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 74 matches | ||
| Faceit | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 72 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




64 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7456 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,233 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6458 | 26% |
| Smokes | 6202 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 7030 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 5543 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,149,392 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1445 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stat | 63% | 112 |
| #2 | TONY | 62% | 194 |
| #3 | blindcoochi | 55% | 101 |
| #4 | Pickles | 53% | 73 |
| #5 | ezqi | 51% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stat | 63% | 112 |
| #2 | TONY | 62% | 194 |
| #3 | blindcoochi | 55% | 101 |
| #4 | Pickles | 53% | 73 |
| #5 | ezqi | 51% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blindcoochi | 18 | 0.0088 |
| #2 | TONY | 15 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Stat | 9 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | ezqi | 6 | 0.0065 |
| #5 | Pickles | 4 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TONY | 299 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #2 | blindcoochi | 183 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #3 | Pickles | 169 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | ezqi | 131 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | Stat | 101 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TONY | +4.04 | 77 | 45 |
| #2 | ezqi | +2.22 | 95 | 51 |
| #3 | PerKLive | +1.84 | 79 | 62 |
| #4 | blindcoochi | -0.00 | 62 | 49 |
| #5 | Pickles | -0.18 | 63 | 63 |





