








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 537 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 256 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




106 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3451 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,287 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6270 | 38% |
| Smokes | 4007 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3292 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2718 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $646,666 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 677 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mkc | 70% | 20 |
| #2 | X/ | 59% | 17 |
| #3 | IDM | 58% | 24 |
| #4 | ✪Paul Abdi | 58% | 92 |
| #5 | WALOU | 53% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | No RaHma! | 50% | 70 |
| #8 | Kurele | 46% | 138 |
| #9 | _Meoweasy_ | 45% | 31 |
| #10 | Abdi Paul | 39% | 23 |
| #11 | twitch_lion_only1 | 19% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kurele | 23 | 0.0082 |
| #2 | No RaHma! | 16 | 0.0108 |
| #3 | ✪Paul Abdi | 15 | 0.0080 |
| #4 | Abdi Paul | 9 | 0.0182 |
| #5 | X/ | 6 | 0.0176 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kurele | 256 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #2 | No RaHma! | 187 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | ✪Paul Abdi | 130 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | _Meoweasy_ | 62 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Abdi Paul | 49 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | X/ | +5.57 | 85 | 60 |
| #2 | IDM | +2.78 | 80 | 40 |
| #3 | sky | +1.83 | 63 | 74 |
| #4 | Mkc | +0.80 | 47 | 51 |
| #5 | Kurele | +0.66 | 58 | 60 |





