








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 501 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 481 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5729 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,709 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 91 | 2% |
| Smokes | 423 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 2045 | 55% |
| Molotovs | 1150 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $638,016 of utility $54 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1780 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | twitch_lion_only1 | 47% | 49 |
| #8 | Ghost | 46% | 71 |
| #9 | Kurele | 44% | 70 |
| #10 | zwizu. | 41% | 29 |
| #11 | Weezy | 41% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Paul Abdi | 18 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | No RaHma! | 13 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | sky | 10 | 0.0108 |
| #4 | Kurele | 7 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | Ghost | 6 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Paul Abdi | 517 | 0.07 | 11 min |
| #2 | sky | 313 | 0.34 | 9 min |
| #3 | No RaHma! | 304 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #4 | Ghost | 199 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #5 | nik | 164 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zwizu. | +4.93 | 96 | 33 |
| #2 | sky | +2.96 | 71 | 78 |
| #3 | nik | +2.40 | 75 | 76 |
| #4 | Kurele | +0.87 | 59 | 62 |
| #5 | Rina | +0.55 | 72 | 19 |





