








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 250 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 60 matches | ||
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1312 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,302 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1253 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1395 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 634 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1020 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $366,230 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 338 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JACKAL | 56% | 39 |
| #2 | seejay36 | 55% | 38 |
| #3 | Amys | 53% | 58 |
| #4 | Plysak | 50% | 8 |
| #5 | LuKEK | 50% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Amys | 16 | 0.0129 |
| #2 | MajkoosCZ | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | JEFFry <34 | 1 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Plysak | 1 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | seejay36 | 256 | 0.30 | 9 min |
| #2 | Amys | 123 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | MajkoosCZ | 94 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | JACKAL | 89 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | JEFFry <34 | 60 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jarmit | +1.82 | 71 | 70 |
| #2 | JEFFry <34 | +1.11 | 81 | 74 |
| #3 | seejay36 | +0.66 | 76 | 84 |
| #4 | MajkoosCZ | -0.21 | 69 | 71 |
| #5 | barrel | -0.22 | 63 | 61 |





