








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 756 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 175 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Esplay | 7 matches | 1,718 | |
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 105 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4755 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,970 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5892 | 33% |
| Smokes | 4741 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4379 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2958 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,095,980 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 293 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scooby Jew | 8 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | zyb⊕t | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Isvik | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | HansEric | 5 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | M⊕rte | 3 | 0.0016 |





