








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 585 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 354 matches | ||
| Wingman | 73 matches | ||
| Faceit | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5393 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,954 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3010 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3629 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4005 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3310 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,243,937 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1430 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hazzz | 65% | 43 |
| #2 | ɾeaper | 64% | 45 |
| #3 | Ezra | 63% | 40 |
| #4 | JaCk0 | 60% | 42 |
| #5 | clown | 56% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | clown | 56% | 39 |
| #6 | verno | 54% | 71 |
| #7 | Lt. piiko | 50% | 101 |
| #8 | Koffi | 48% | 46 |
| #9 | Pinke | 41% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ɾeaper | 12 | 0.0137 |
| #2 | Hazzz | 12 | 0.0145 |
| #3 | Lt. piiko | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Koffi | 4 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | clown | 4 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lt. piiko | 313 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #2 | verno | 188 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | Ezra | 139 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | ɾeaper | 134 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | Hazzz | 97 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ɾeaper | +8.13 | 93 | 58 |
| #2 | Ezra | +5.25 | 96 | 55 |
| #3 | Lt. piiko | +2.68 | 76 | 66 |
| #4 | verno | +1.87 | 76 | 61 |
| #5 | Hazzz | +1.53 | 79 | 52 |





