








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 188 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 239 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2125 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,532 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1524 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3037 | 46% |
| HE Grenades | 611 | 9% |
| Molotovs | 1360 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $585,448 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goblin Jr. | 68% | 69 |
| #2 | R3dma | 61% | 36 |
| #3 | 𝕤𝕦𝕟𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕖 | 60% | 15 |
| #4 | ;D | 58% | 84 |
| #5 | BeWhY. | 57% | 105 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MORGAN | 8 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | pupu™ | 5 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | ;D | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | BeWhY. | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | peek1k1 | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MORGAN | 453 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #2 | Goblin Jr. | 288 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #3 | Bully Maguire | 227 | 0.26 | 6 min |
| #4 | pupu™ | 225 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | BeWhY. | 133 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goblin Jr. | +3.06 | 57 | 68 |
| #2 | 𝕤𝕦𝕟𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕖 | +2.69 | 74 | 61 |
| #3 | Bully Maguire | +1.80 | 62 | 69 |
| #4 | R3dma | +1.78 | 82 | 33 |
| #5 | ♡PEPE♡ | +1.71 | 83 | 64 |





