








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 688 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 843 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 165 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




87 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8693 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,222 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1481 | 7% |
| Smokes | 9380 | 42% |
| HE Grenades | 5838 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5523 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,242,339 of utility $63 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 296 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Mal_Mav | 54% | 444 |
| #6 | MEX!CAN | 54% | 697 |
| #7 | Roverman1 | 54% | 463 |
| #8 | BertieG | 51% | 305 |
| #9 | Sipho Your Local Coochie Man | 41% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | giveup1880 | +3.47 | 80 | 47 |
| #2 | Rajesh Your Local Crack Dealer | +2.93 | 74 | 63 |
| #3 | Sipho Your Local Coochie Man | +1.70 | 69 | 64 |
| #4 | Blaze | +1.04 | 59 | 69 |
| #5 | Heel_Spills | +0.90 | 66 | 42 |





