








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1002 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 612 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 97 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4891 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,797 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6097 | 19% |
| Smokes | 9131 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 8834 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 8735 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $592,292 of utility $43 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 444 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Heel_Spills | 51% | 305 |
| #6 | Roverman1 | 50% | 113 |
| #7 | Sipho Your Local Coochie Man | 49% | 96 |
| #8 | Mal_Mav | 49% | 218 |
| #9 | Blaze | 47% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | giveup1880 | +3.07 | 81 | 54 |
| #2 | Rajesh Your Local Crack Dealer | +2.24 | 75 | 59 |
| #3 | Sipho Your Local Coochie Man | +1.68 | 70 | 61 |
| #4 | Blaze | +0.98 | 59 | 66 |
| #5 | Heel_Spills | +0.78 | 65 | 43 |





