








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 394 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 613 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




103 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7918 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,785 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6868 | 41% |
| Smokes | 3493 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1825 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 4599 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,256,732 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2640 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I3lack Panda | 73% | 33 |
| #2 | SHeP | 69% | 51 |
| #3 | daFish | 64% | 143 |
| #4 | Ladiesman217 | 62% | 133 |
| #5 | Sku1man | 62% | 259 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | daFish | 64% | 143 |
| #4 | Ladiesman217 | 62% | 133 |
| #5 | Sku1man | 62% | 259 |
| #6 | Dreamz | 62% | 102 |
| #7 | ♚i5-𝘙𝘦𝘫𝘦𝘤𝘵 | 60% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sku1man | 19 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Ladiesman217 | 14 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | ♚i5-𝘙𝘦𝘫𝘦𝘤𝘵 | 7 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | daFish | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Dreamz | 3 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sku1man | 1188 | 0.22 | 32 min |
| #2 | daFish | 333 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | Ladiesman217 | 277 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #4 | Dreamz | 260 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #5 | I3lack Panda | 204 | 0.29 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SHeP | +2.66 | 88 | 47 |
| #2 | Zebbzz | +2.43 | 82 | 52 |
| #3 | ♚i5-𝘙𝘦𝘫𝘦𝘤𝘵 | +1.76 | 83 | 58 |
| #4 | Sku1man | +1.64 | 85 | 73 |
| #5 | I3lack Panda | +1.19 | 71 | 67 |





