










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 314 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 148 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4214 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,610 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6799 | 44% |
| Smokes | 4006 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1664 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 3141 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $629,005 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 824 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I3lack Panda | 86% | 21 |
| #2 | SHeP | 72% | 25 |
| #3 | Ladiesman217 | 64% | 73 |
| #4 | Dreamz | 63% | 49 |
| #5 | Zebbzz | 62% | 259 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | SHeP | 72% | 25 |
| #3 | Ladiesman217 | 64% | 73 |
| #4 | Dreamz | 63% | 49 |
| #5 | Zebbzz | 62% | 259 |
| #6 | daFish | 62% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zebbzz | 43 | 0.0080 |
| #2 | Ladiesman217 | 9 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | daFish | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Dreamz | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | SHeP | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zebbzz | 956 | 0.18 | 22 min |
| #2 | daFish | 204 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | Ladiesman217 | 166 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | I3lack Panda | 122 | 0.29 | 3 min |
| #5 | Dreamz | 121 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SHeP | +3.56 | 92 | 52 |
| #2 | I3lack Panda | +3.20 | 72 | 68 |
| #3 | Zebbzz | +2.43 | 81 | 54 |
| #4 | Sku1man | +1.96 | 86 | 74 |
| #5 | daFish | -0.10 | 78 | 65 |





