








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 82 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1335 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,859 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 512 | 18% |
| Smokes | 661 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1054 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 632 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $393,959 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 119 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Harja | 58% | 24 |
| #2 | jonnije | 56% | 68 |
| #3 | ☺SMOKE☺ | 54% | 48 |
| #4 | Juuso | 51% | 68 |
| #5 | parnianDS | 46% | 103 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | parnianDS | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Juuso | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | jonnije | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Harja | 2 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | parnianDS | 202 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #2 | jonnije | 106 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | Juuso | 80 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | Harja | 56 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | ☺SMOKE☺ | 50 | 0.06 | 1 min |





