










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 99 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
139 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 253 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 138 | 55% |
| Smokes | 67 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 10 | 4% |
| Molotovs | 38 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $72,463 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 32 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lonely Savage | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | axis | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | ZerVIE | 57% | 7 |
| #4 | Captain | 50% | 4 |
| #5 | Me Weeney | 33% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lonely Savage | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | axis | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | ZerVIE | 57% | 7 |
| #4 | Captain | 50% | 4 |
| #5 | Me Weeney | 33% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZerVIE | 2 | 0.0148 |
| #2 | Me Weeney | 1 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Captain | 11 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| #2 | Me Weeney | 9 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #3 | Lonely Savage | 5 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #4 | axis | 3 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | ZerVIE | 2 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | axis | +9.72 | 78 | 48 |
| #2 | Lonely Savage | +3.58 | 88 | 61 |
| #3 | ZerVIE | +1.32 | 88 | 54 |
| #4 | Captain | +1.03 | 46 | 59 |
| #5 | Me Weeney | -1.23 | 24 | 42 |





