








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 346 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 289 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3560 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,581 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 826 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1366 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 864 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 525 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,813,130 of utility $226 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 316 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CorgiGoQuack | 57% | 47 |
| #2 | Cowman | 53% | 19 |
| #3 | DEA Viper | 50% | 334 |
| #4 | Rawb | 48% | 280 |
| #5 | DEA Goose | 47% | 144 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Cowman | 53% | 19 |
| #3 | DEA Viper | 50% | 334 |
| #4 | Rawb | 48% | 280 |
| #5 | DEA Goose | 47% | 144 |
| #6 | DEA Jester | 39% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DEA Viper | 9 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Rawb | 7 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | DEA Jester | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | DEA Goose | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | CorgiGoQuack | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DEA Viper | 1696 | 0.24 | 39 min |
| #2 | CorgiGoQuack | 274 | 0.28 | 9 min |
| #3 | DEA Goose | 247 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #4 | Rawb | 226 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #5 | Cowman | 126 | 0.33 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HG | +1.35 | 73 | 32 |
| #2 | CorgiGoQuack | +1.12 | 59 | 59 |
| #3 | Cowman | +0.85 | 53 | 61 |
| #4 | DEA Goose | -0.07 | 72 | 61 |
| #5 | DEA Viper | -0.59 | 74 | 59 |





