








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1165 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 434 matches | ||
| Faceit | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4910 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,243 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6107 | 27% |
| Smokes | 6768 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3252 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 6116 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,537,324 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 364 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CorgiGoQuack | 52% | 87 |
| #2 | DEA Goose | 51% | 157 |
| #3 | HG | 50% | 334 |
| #4 | Rawb | 48% | 309 |
| #5 | Cowman | 44% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | HG | 50% | 334 |
| #4 | Rawb | 48% | 309 |
| #5 | Cowman | 44% | 32 |
| #6 | DEA Jester | 40% | 84 |
| #7 | I Luv Puppy~ | 39% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rawb | 7 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | CorgiGoQuack | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | HG | 2 | 0.0003 |
| #4 | DEA Jester | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Cowman | 2 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CorgiGoQuack | 480 | 0.26 | 14 min |
| #2 | Rawb | 256 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #3 | DEA Goose | 252 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #4 | HG | 240 | 0.03 | 5 min |
| #5 | Cowman | 201 | 0.30 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HG | +1.41 | 73 | 32 |
| #2 | Cowman | +1.03 | 54 | 61 |
| #3 | CorgiGoQuack | +0.63 | 63 | 59 |
| #4 | DEA Goose | -0.01 | 71 | 61 |
| #5 | DEA Viper | -0.44 | 75 | 59 |





