








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 94 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September

The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 179 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




106 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1183 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,979 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2200 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1483 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 3500 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 1796 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $487,537 of utility $70 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 347 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Cockapoo | 41% | 91 |
| #6 | biv | 40% | 75 |
| #7 | mek | 38% | 95 |
| #8 | Chrissebah | 36% | 81 |
| #9 | Toberone579 | 33% | 39 |





