








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2203 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 642 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 49 matches | ||
| Faceit | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




173 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12018 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 58,664 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 23577 | 40% |
| Smokes | 10299 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 14114 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 10674 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $833,011 of utility $35 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 986 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jane Jaguar | 52% | 161 |
| #2 | SARS Sausia | 50% | 204 |
| #3 | Bóbr | 50% | 404 |
| #4 | STFU | 49% | 171 |
| #5 | Habibiblocksberg | 45% | 378 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bóbr | 1328 | 0.16 | 32 min |
| #2 | Jane Jaguar | 485 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #3 | Habibiblocksberg | 474 | 0.06 | 11 min |
| #4 | SARS Sausia | 416 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #5 | STFU | 395 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bóbr | +3.99 | 82 | 64 |
| #2 | Jane Jaguar | +2.43 | 74 | 57 |
| #3 | KundeIstKönig | +1.63 | 80 | 75 |
| #4 | STFU | +0.15 | 78 | 57 |
| #5 | SARS Sausia | +0.02 | 55 | 49 |





