








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 569 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3671 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,947 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2909 | 21% |
| Smokes | 4327 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2715 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3996 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,420,343 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 159 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | STFU | 67% | 36 |
| #2 | Bóbr | 53% | 130 |
| #3 | KundeIstKönig | 50% | 204 |
| #4 | Habibiblocksberg | 49% | 163 |
| #5 | Jane Jaguar | 49% | 138 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KundeIstKönig | 968 | 0.24 | 27 min |
| #2 | Jane Jaguar | 457 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #3 | Bóbr | 399 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #4 | Habibiblocksberg | 214 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | STFU | 102 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bóbr | +4.75 | 84 | 63 |
| #2 | Jane Jaguar | +2.52 | 75 | 55 |
| #3 | KundeIstKönig | +1.89 | 79 | 74 |
| #4 | SARS Sausia | +0.30 | 57 | 49 |
| #5 | STFU | +0.04 | 77 | 56 |





