








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 840 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 527 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6108 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,530 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8632 | 34% |
| Smokes | 6905 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4035 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 5958 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,807,995 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 340 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Sei Stärkste | 58% | 67 |
| #4 | KDN | 55% | 44 |
| #5 | ✔ | 52% | 185 |
| #6 | PKQ | 50% | 38 |
| #7 | ❟❛❟O❟❛❟ | 47% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 椰王 | 8 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | ✔ | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Sei Stärkste | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | ❟❛❟O❟❛❟ | 3 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | PKQ | 2 | 0.0025 |





