








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 451 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 369 matches | ||
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




49 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3666 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,728 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 964 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1567 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1275 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1922 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,881,807 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1394 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phillip | 63% | 27 |
| #2 | den1gxz | 49% | 47 |
| #3 | Jtman979 | 46% | 28 |
| #4 | Futt_Bucker | 46% | 24 |
| #5 | ☁ Mez1kor | 46% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ☁ Mez1kor | 46% | 59 |
| #6 | Bartmane | 45% | 123 |
| #7 | mufa | 42% | 53 |
| #8 | Fl4tLined | 40% | 87 |
| #9 | -Juiceeeeee | 39% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☁ Mez1kor | 24 | 0.0193 |
| #2 | mufa | 11 | 0.0104 |
| #3 | Fl4tLined | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | den1gxz | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | Bartmane | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fl4tLined | 413 | 0.22 | 10 min |
| #2 | ☁ Mez1kor | 242 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #3 | mufa | 189 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #4 | Phillip | 179 | 0.29 | 4 min |
| #5 | Bartmane | 151 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mufa | +3.00 | 61 | 58 |
| #2 | den1gxz | +1.54 | 56 | 43 |
| #3 | Phillip | +1.24 | 60 | 53 |
| #4 | Bartmane | +1.21 | 82 | 42 |
| #5 | Jtman979 | +0.63 | 68 | 49 |





