








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 399 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 207 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2364 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,778 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2368 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2281 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 3627 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 2502 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $827,752 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 58 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Monday | 53% | 34 |
| #2 | axeLs | 46% | 91 |
| #3 | PEARL_JAM | 46% | 165 |
| #4 | capybara | 44% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Monday | 53% | 34 |
| #2 | axeLs | 46% | 91 |
| #3 | PEARL_JAM | 46% | 165 |
| #4 | capybara | 44% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | axeLs | 10 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | PEARL_JAM | 9 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | capybara | 8 | 0.0074 |
| #4 | Monday | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | axeLs | 548 | 0.30 | 15 min |
| #2 | PEARL_JAM | 379 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | capybara | 213 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #4 | Monday | 125 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Monday | +3.81 | 79 | 71 |
| #2 | Sandraker | +1.78 | 54 | 65 |
| #3 | capybara | +1.43 | 51 | 68 |
| #4 | axeLs | -1.27 | 44 | 72 |
| #5 | PEARL_JAM | -3.85 | 39 | 37 |





