










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 94 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1324 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,769 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1318 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1371 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1021 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1059 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $70,535 of utility $26 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 170 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bonk | 58% | 19 |
| #2 | SaVi | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | Tomoッ | 55% | 20 |
| #4 | Awyyer- | 55% | 55 |
| #5 | アヘ顔 | 47% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | SaVi | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | Tomoッ | 55% | 20 |
| #4 | Awyyer- | 55% | 55 |
| #5 | アヘ顔 | 47% | 19 |
| #6 | Calass | 43% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bonk | 11 | 0.0276 |
| #2 | アヘ顔 | 8 | 0.0200 |
| #3 | Tomoッ | 3 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | SaVi | 2 | 0.0145 |
| #5 | Awyyer- | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Awyyer- | 209 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #2 | アヘ顔 | 69 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #3 | Tomoッ | 67 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | Bonk | 61 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| #5 | Calass | 29 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sir PTO | +2.84 | 57 | 51 |
| #2 | アヘ顔 | +1.69 | 86 | 36 |
| #3 | Tomoッ | +0.95 | 59 | 49 |
| #4 | Awyyer- | -0.96 | 44 | 78 |
| #5 | SaVi | -1.48 | 52 | 50 |





