








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 229 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 108 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




86 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1598 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,649 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2022 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1504 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1924 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1199 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $731,149 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 292 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SaVi | 60% | 73 |
| #2 | Sir PTO | 58% | 19 |
| #3 | pto | 57% | 14 |
| #4 | Tomoッ | 48% | 173 |
| #5 | アヘ顔 | 47% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SaVi | 60% | 73 |
| #2 | Sir PTO | 58% | 19 |
| #3 | pto | 57% | 14 |
| #4 | Tomoッ | 48% | 173 |
| #5 | アヘ顔 | 47% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SaVi | 33 | 0.0236 |
| #2 | Tomoッ | 21 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | アヘ顔 | 20 | 0.0193 |
| #4 | Sir PTO | 13 | 0.0328 |
| #5 | pto | 6 | 0.0222 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tomoッ | 528 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #2 | SaVi | 346 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| #3 | アヘ顔 | 177 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | Sir PTO | 75 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #5 | pto | 44 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sir PTO | +5.35 | 66 | 37 |
| #2 | pto | +2.92 | 58 | 48 |
| #3 | SaVi | +2.78 | 76 | 55 |
| #4 | Tomoッ | +2.73 | 62 | 61 |
| #5 | アヘ顔 | +1.31 | 81 | 41 |





