








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1464 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 758 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 105 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




176 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6469 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,623 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5501 | 24% |
| Smokes | 5280 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 7177 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 4665 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,875,138 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5267 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Kingswap | 39% | 145 |
| #6 | Arcane the human flashbang | 39% | 127 |
| #7 | ⊰␈⊱asparrow | 38% | 53 |
| #8 | ™ | 37% | 57 |
| #9 | PABLO ESCOBAR | 34% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Apple | 26 | 0.0132 |
| #2 | Kingswap | 19 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | ™ | 8 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | Arcane the human flashbang | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | PABLO ESCOBAR | 6 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | savvyurdaddy | 181 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #2 | Kingswap | 173 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #3 | Apple | 164 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | ™ | 129 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | PABLO ESCOBAR | 101 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | savvyurdaddy | +2.85 | 41 | 55 |
| #2 | MaxTCB | +1.05 | 25 | 51 |
| #3 | Kingswap | -0.33 | 44 | 31 |
| #4 | Apple | -1.26 | 22 | 35 |
| #5 | assman | -1.28 | 3 | 45 |





