










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 3 different maps



Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
116 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 217 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 62 | 29% |
| Smokes | 53 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 51 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 51 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $31,347 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ELFITITO | 10% | 10 |
| #4 | Malvinas Argentinas | 0% | 2 |
| #5 | guido | 0% | 3 |
| #6 | cocoslocos | 0% | 5 |
| #7 | Pepe | 0% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ELFITITO | 31 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #2 | Pepe | 26 | 0.26 | 1 min |
| #3 | Elma Caco | 18 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | cocoslocos | 16 | 0.20 | 0 min |
| #5 | guido | 5 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | guido | +1.23 | 21 | 74 |
| #2 | cocoslocos | +1.14 | 59 | 56 |
| #3 | Giannis | +0.46 | 35 | 33 |
| #4 | Pepe | -0.72 | 48 | 70 |
| #5 | Elma Caco | -0.77 | 18 | 55 |





