








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1592 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 539 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 29 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 105 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




56 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12402 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 42,780 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 16594 | 39% |
| Smokes | 10646 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 7583 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 7957 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,746,341 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2699 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | g0retex | 56% | 84 |
| #2 | Harry Anoos | 54% | 99 |
| #3 | vico | 49% | 315 |
| #4 | Kiiffi | 46% | 235 |
| #5 | Max Donalds | 41% | 178 |





