










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 391 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1683 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,601 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5067 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3263 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 5179 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 4092 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $924,500 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 30 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | `_´ DK | 44% | 25 |
| #8 | BloodsuckerDAD | 44% | 32 |
| #9 | [AA] Pim de Keysergracht | 36% | 42 |
| #10 | [AA] Walter | 32% | 37 |
| #11 | KingWraithDK | 24% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [AA] Pim de Keysergracht | 6 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | [AA]Lebeck | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | KingWraithDK | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | blank | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Artina♡ | 2 | 0.0025 |





