








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 180 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 142 matches | ||
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2047 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,214 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 986 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1533 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 698 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 997 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $891,314 of utility $232 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 558 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cc | 85% | 13 |
| #2 | wawo | 80% | 20 |
| #3 | z1 | 63% | 27 |
| #4 | pinky | 61% | 38 |
| #5 | 00 | 50% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | wawo | 80% | 20 |
| #3 | z1 | 63% | 27 |
| #4 | pinky | 61% | 38 |
| #5 | 00 | 50% | 36 |
| #6 | diaper | 41% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pinky | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | 00 | 2 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | z1 | 175 | 0.27 | 4 min |
| #2 | pinky | 140 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #3 | 00 | 140 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | diaper | 77 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | wawo | 37 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | z1 | +3.87 | 87 | 71 |
| #2 | 00 | +3.62 | 72 | 57 |
| #3 | cc | +2.83 | 76 | 59 |
| #4 | 888 | +1.21 | 68 | 50 |
| #5 | wawo | +0.43 | 37 | 53 |





