








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 94 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
580 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,459 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 436 | 30% |
| Smokes | 428 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 248 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 347 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $78,136 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 273 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 888 | 85% | 13 |
| #2 | wawo | 80% | 5 |
| #3 | z1 | 80% | 15 |
| #4 | diaper | 62% | 13 |
| #5 | pinky | 58% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | wawo | 80% | 5 |
| #3 | z1 | 80% | 15 |
| #4 | diaper | 62% | 13 |
| #5 | pinky | 58% | 24 |
| #6 | walter sherman | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pinky | 3 | 0.0059 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | z1 | 79 | 0.25 | 2 min |
| #2 | pinky | 70 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | diaper | 35 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | 888 | 31 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | wawo | 10 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | z1 | +6.30 | 95 | 79 |
| #2 | 888 | +2.77 | 73 | 51 |
| #3 | cc | +2.17 | 73 | 54 |
| #4 | diaper | +1.04 | 69 | 76 |
| #5 | walter sherman | +0.67 | 79 | 52 |





